The gold standard of Cool Ranch Dorito

I’m one of the people who has zero reaction to dirty fingernails... or at least did until my fiancé and I started dating. He worked with cars at the time and constantly had disgusting black fingernails (plus gross blackness all up in the crevices of his fingerprints). I didn’t want him coming within a mile of my downstairs.

He’d even allow me to scrub his hands and fingernails with hot, hot water and dish soap. I could never get all of it off. Plus, I enjoy being fingered, so this really drove a wedge into the first couple years of our foreplay.

The day he got a new job, I couldn’t have been happier. I haven’t thought about the black fingernails in over three years. Thank GOD.

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