A good friend really hurt my feelings yesterday and now I don't know how to feel.

Years ago, before I started with whole trying to conceive/infertility shit I remember hearing women 'obsessing' about fertile cervical mucus and timed intercourse and I thought to myself, 'I will never, ever be like that'. I had this image in my head that I'd be able to try to get pregnant and be very cool about it, even it took 6+ months. I can understand how women who have never been through this can underestimate the stress and see all of the shit we do as voodoo (pineapple core, acupuncture, herbs, vitamins, teas, special lube, etc) and hysteria. I can also imagine it would get boring to hear about. Hell, I'm bored thinking about it. It's fucking boring. But guess what, so is other shit- marriage trouble, boyfriend struggles, work struggles. That's what being a friend is about, sticking through this shit. And no one more than you wishes this wasn't such a long lasting problem! I challenge anyone to go through infertility and not get obsessed. It's the nature of the beast and one we all struggle with. Every couple weeks there is a post about 'how can I distract myself' or 'how do you deal with the waiting'. The answers are always- I can't and I hate it. Sure, we can take up cross-stitching or rehab a house but it's always there, always in the back of our heads.

If your friend means a lot to you I'd suggest you have a heart-to-heart about how much that comment hurt you and how it made you feel- guilty and embarrassed. I let my friends know explicitly what is helpful and what isn't. Resolve.org has good articles you can send her on how to be supportive to someone going through infertility. It may be that she needs educated. It's not okay that she said that but you get to decide if it is a relationship ender.

/r/infertility Thread