Dude that really sucks that Gabapentin is the most you can hope for. It is extremely hard to get benzos from certain doctors. SSRIs are the thing they push on you, but you can subtly push back. Tell them you’re not sleeping. Tell them you feel wired. Tell them you’re anxious but ssris have made it worse. I was given celexa. I told the doctor it made me feel weird and uncomfortable. You’ve got to be subtle. Gabapentin isn’t half bad. It potentiates a lot of shit. It does give you a buzz. Fuck ssris. Seriously. I’m sorry you’ve got a strict doctor. Do you see a regular doctor regularly? That you have a relationship with? If so, you can try there. Sometimes inner ear issues cause vertigo, and they prescribe Valium for it. There’s still hope