I'm a recovering alcoholic. Just celebrated 1 year clean. I abused it because it was the only thing that worked for me to be able to function...until it turned on me.

I've tried about 10 different ssri's and snris and before switching to benzos I tried, hydroxozine, busbar and gabapentin. None of them work. I'm still on 2 different SSRIs but I can't get rid of the anxiety and the depression wont go away. I just never feel "normal". I'm sure part of that is because of how much I abused alcohol. I was a CA through and through.

The benzos are kind of a last ditch effort to control my mental health. I never want to go back to booze. I just started kratom as well, to some success, but i'm not sure if that's right for me.

Thank you for your response.