Graveyard shift workers of reddit, what is the weirdest/creepiest thing you've witnessed while working at night?

Alrighty, then ... picture this if you will.

10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes, in my "need to know" pose, just outside of Area 51. Contemplating the whole "chosen people" thingy when a flaming stealth banana split the sky like one would hope but never really expectto see in a place like this.

Cutting right angle donuts on a dime and stopping right at my Birkenstocks, and me yelping... Holy fucking shit!

Then the X-Files being, looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan with Isabella Rossellini lips, and breath that reeked of vanilla Chig Champa did a slow-mo Matrix descent outta the butt end of the banana vessel and hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip, and all I could think was: "I hope Uncle Martian here doesn't notice that I pissed my fuckin' pants."

And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose. He said, "You are the Chosen One, the One who will deliver the message. A message of hope for those who choose to hear it and a warning for those who do not."

Me. The Chosen One? They chose me!!! And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school.

Then he looked right through me with somniferous almond eyes.. don't even know what that means. Must remember to write it down. This is so real like the time Dave floated away. See, my heart is pounding 'cause this shit never happens to me

I can't breathe right now!

It was so real. Like I woke up in Wonderland. All sorta terrifying, I don't wanna be all alone while I tell this story. And can anyone tell me why Y'all sound like Peanuts parents?Will I ever be coming down? This is so real, finally, it's my lucky day. See, my heart is racing 'cause this shit never happens to me.

You believe me, don't you? Please believe what I've just said! See the Dead ain't touring and this wasn't all in my head. See, they took me by the hand and invited me right in. Then they showed me something I don't even know where to begin.

Strapped down to my bed. Feet cold and eyes red. I'm out of my head Am I alive? Am I dead? Can't remember what they said.. God damn, shit the bed.

Hey ...

Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position. Such a heavy burden now to be the One, born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending, to write it down for all the world to see.

But I forgot my pen Shit the bed again ... Typical.

/r/AskReddit Thread