Great connection but insane fighting

If you are staying present and communicating with her this sounds less like avoidant attachment than I originally interpreted. It sounds like you are communicating with her but she wants you to comfort and soothe her. And you may be experiencing your own hurt, which makes it unfair to you. Does that sound right?

I would honestly consider seeing a counselor. Not because I think there is anything "wrong" with you but to hash out the relationship in a one-to-one setting to gain clarity. I also say this because if this lady has something more going on you may need the support.

I find it frustrating we are not supposed to "diagnose". I am suggesting see a counselor then and it's pretty futile and pointless to chat in here because we are not allowed to discuss what may be apparent. This sounds like there is more going on than everyday couples' squabbles but of course I'm not allowed to suggest that so seeing a counselor can help you.

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