a great sickness

As an only child who went off to boarding school at age 14, it took me awhile (and a lot of hardship) to realize the sheer importance of family. I was honestly too young to go out in the world on my own. Even before I left home, I didn't have much of a backbone, so without the built-in support system and unconditional love of my family... I had some wayward years. I cultivated the wrong values and fell in with a bad crowd. Immersing myself in Instagram, indulging my senses with drugs, and stumbling into bed early in the morning wondering why I felt like something was missing.

Things changed this year when I started an internship in my family's hometown. This is the longest time I've ever spent here with everybody, and I genuinely feel a lot happier. For once I'm surrounded by people who, no matter what, just want the best for me. My aunts and uncles come over unannounced, bringing chocolate or gossip or freshly-baked bread. Last month there was an earthquake; my aunts were over within a half-hour, having assembled earthquake kits for me and my mom.

I spend time with both my 90+ year old grandma and my infant niece — watching the first and fourth generations interact is so cool!

And while I'll always appreciate bottle service and nose candy, when I go out with my cousins the experience is decidedly warmer than when I went out with my clubbing buddies. My cousins and I could be at a ritzy lounge or some dingy back-alley bar, and it's fun all the same because we actually talk and joke and share interests besides drinking.

Sorry for waxing on. I truly feel that this time has clued me into what was missing all those years... Family. I didn't realize just how fulfilling meaningful face-to-face social interaction is until now. Like, we really are social creatures when you get down to it.

/r/DecidingToBeBetter Thread Parent