Grocery store gender lecture receives applause

This happened to too. A man in a grocery store line approached me me: You 're gorgeous.

I replied: A talent agent is sitting at his office when a family walks in. “No, not another family act,” he says. The father replies, “But this one is special, just watch, okay?” The talent agent mumbles, “Sigh… okay. Go ahead.” First the father stands up and begins to warn the agent that it wouldn’t be prudent to begin a policy of unnecessary taxing of the United States only to spend it on “way out, far out” types of expenditures. He is then joined by the white haired woman, the Matriarch of the family who walks up carrying her Springer spaniel and begins to start calling everybody “bitch.” When the father asks her who she is talking about, the Matriarch changes her vocabulary and states that she meant to call everybody a “witch” and announces that she will start to read aloud from the book that her dog wrote. Next, their son Neil comes up and admits to having a sexual addiction to Asian women. Two other children, a grown man and a grown woman, attempt to approach the stage but are tackled by the Secret Service and sent away because they're really just after-thoughts. This is followed by the second eldest son (who is named after a Confederate General) and his Hispanic wife who shows off her arrest warrant for shoplifting. She in turn calls up their daughter who proceeds to start blowing snow up her nose while popping prescription pain pills. This really riles her Uncle, who approaches the edge of the stage to the dulcet tones of “Hail to the Chief”. He wrestles the mirrored surface away from his niece. The he sticks a rolled-up brand new counterfeit proof ten dollar bill up his nose and begins to create a blizzard of his own inside his head where the brain should be, while farting Nearer My God to Thee in the key of “F”. The family is now joined by the wife of the eldest son who, drags their twin daughters up on stage. One of the daughters is drunk and has a boob hanging out, and the other daughter who does nothing, but blankly stare at the agent. The wife begins to admonish them all, but soon joins in the fun, belching out the Lord's Prayer, and the act continues until January, 2009. Finally the agent, who has been held in place with a ball gag in his mouth by three guys named Antonin, Dick and Clarence, breaks free. By now the agent is starving and can't afford food, or pay for the medical condition that needs attention, and is also late for his own gay wedding says “What in the hell do you call that act?” The eldest son steps forward and announces that name of the act is the Aristocats, adding "Ta Da!"! His friend Dick gets up on stage, walks over to the man and whispers something in the man’s ear; the man opens his mouth and says that the “name of the act is the Aristcatics, er, um, the Aristocrats!You found a Tumblr post about how a brave transgender feminist WoC made a white male cishet check his privilege? I still get aroused every time I think about how that happened in real life. Your Facebook newsfeed tells a tale of how a newly enlightened 15-year-old Atheist put that stupid fundie in their place? My girlfriend who you haven't met because she goes to a different school totally saw it happen and verified it for me. You read a rage comic describing how a man totally made a woman orgasm by song alone? I can confirm this; I used to sleep with that woman before the man's audible vibrator took her away. Post all of these stories and more here, a place where we collect and verify the truest stories on Reddit. Some basic rules apply, give them a read before posting a 100% true story or commenting on one.There was once a wealthy, unmarried man who moved to Utah to get away from the big city. One day a man knocked on his door. "Hello," said the one at his door. "My name is Joseph Brigham Young Nephi Lehi Smith. I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints, also known as Mormons. Would you be interested in more info?" "No," said the man. He started to close the door but Smith held it open. "Oh please," he said. "As a sign-on bonus you get your choice of beautiful women. I'll even let you look at my own daughters right now." The wealthy man consented and Joseph Brigham Young Nephi Lehi Smith brought in his oldest daughter. A 16-year old beauty queen walked in and slowly undressed for the man. Ogling her, he began to get a massive erection. Next, Smith brought his 13-year-old. She also slowly undressed for the man, whose erection had grown even more. He now began to undress himself. Finally, Smith brought in his youngest- only 10 years old. She, however, was fairer than both her sisters and as she undressed, his erection became too big to handle. As soon as they were both finished he thrusted into her vag, but suddenly her vag closed up and "bit" off his penis. Screaming in pain and blood mixed with semen flying -I was shaking by the time i walked out of the store.

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