I'm struggling with the same thing. I want to tell him how sorry I am for everything I said or did wrong, and how much I love and appreciate him. I've sent him a few messages and wrote him a letter on the anniversary of us meeting a few weeks ago, but it's not the same. The intimacy in our relationship started fizzling out over the last couple years; there weren't a lot of kisses anymore and we kinda stopped having sex. The one thing I have that gives me a little comfort is that last day we spent together I was going to the store and he was on the couch right next to the door. He grabbed my shirt and looked up at me and I leaned down and kissed him. So I at least got one last kiss. The last time I looked him in the eyes he saw me smiling at him, and I try to hold onto that. I keep telling myself he loved me and I loved him, just wish I could tell him that to his face.