I once liked an INFJ guy and then the guy liked someone else who's older that him by two years (his mom is also older than his dad so I think this has sth to do with his choice of girls) and we only ever get to be as close as best friends.

I actually genuinely tried to help him get closer to her without him knowing that I liked him at all. I helped him write his love confession letter (yep,he liked the conventional ways), fixed his choice of words, etc and then discussed together his first date scheduled (places that his gf and him would like tgt, how much money he should spend, etc) then watch him get farther and farther from me bcs he didn't want his now gf get jealous of our closeness and relationship.

Now if you ask me, I would be lying if I said my feelings were never hurt for all that time, but I did had a wonderful times with him with our friendship and I just wanted to highlight that part bcs nothing will happen by me hurting all over him.

And to be completely honest with you, I'm 21 now (going to be 22 in a few months) but I've never dated anyone and I don't know if I actually ever be ready for one. I know this may sounds stupid but I think I wanted my first date to be with someone who liked me first for who I am. I do admit I don't particularly picky with my taste of men bcs all that matters to me is that they love me for the imperfect me and for that only, I love them whole. Bcs who can resist someone who still loved them wholly even though they knew all of your bad.

Idk about you but I actually tend to show only my best when I'm with someone who I liked and I think this will make the whole going out part harder for me bcs that way I can't be 100% me bcs I was too afraid they'll disliked me or even hate me for my imperfections. I know someone will say 'if they love you they would accept you for who you are' but this's the gist, bcs I was the one liked them, I'll always wonder if he liked me back, or if he actually only going out with me out of pity or sth else..

In fact, I actually think it might be sth if I could date with someone mute. The use of sign language will be our own special language that no one could understand (ofc this doesn't apply with someone who understood sign language as well, but majority people around me don't understand sign language) but as always, I think I'll ever be more realy for a puppy rather than a bf cries in the corner lol