The guy I’m dating slapped me during sex and I don’t know how to feel about it.

Why do you think I’m advocating for abuse?

Don’t pick a situation where you are far more likely to face this. She unfortunately got an asshole that does that to her.

Does that mean it’s her fault it did happen? Hell no.

She’s there though, so who has to take the steps to escape?

Putting on her big girl pants is walking the fuck away, and not doubting her decision to do so. That is a common enough phrase it should be understood. She’s the only one who can do that.

I don’t understand what part of me explaining why young 20’s people in general should not date at a significant age gap equates to victim blaming.

Just because it’s generally a bad idea doesn’t mean you deserve abuse, but you do hold responsibility for getting yourself out of it if you find yourself there because you are the ONLY person who can make that decision.The police can’t stop an abusive husband from going home and beating his wife if she doesn’t press charges. Doesn’t make any of it her fault though.

Responsibility does not equate to blame. Those are entirely different things.

Extremely tough grounds= starting in a place with very uneven dynamics.

Im being honest and realistic about the situation. If you think about it as demeaning, due to phrasing, you miss the content and are choosing to focus on grammar and slang. None of it is demeaning, I don’t expect any 23 year old to just have the innate know how to evaluate people like this showering them in things currently unavailable to most when dealing with a situation like this. That would be unreasonable.

Sorry we disagree in how we think about this. I hope you don’t assume evil of everyone who thinks differently than you. Best of luck out there y’all.

/r/relationship_advice Thread Parent