No, it's not. But it depends on what STAGE of the courtship process you are in. The problem many guys who struggle have is that most of their interactions with women are in the early stages of courtship. When the woman is not invested. When he needs to do a bulk of the initiating -- starting a conversation, getting a number, planning a date, leaning in for a kiss when she shows signs of interest, following up and so on.

I admit these things aren't always easy and can feel challenging and burdensome. A lot of effort expended with little result. However, if guys could just get to the "other side" of these interactions, after a few dates, after sex happens a few times and she actually starts to really INVEST, then all of a sudden they would find that women can and do initiate and put plenty of in effort in. This is when women start actively starting conversations over text, wanting to hang out and come over all the time, wanting to go on trips with you, wanting to introduce you to their friends and so on. But you need to get to that other side with some women. Otherwise, you're stuck in all effort but no results purgatory.

Another problem guys have is that they themselves actually PROLONG that initial stage, that tougher stage, of the interaction. Rather than registering as a romantic/sexual prospect from the beginning, they instead come in registering as a friend, drag their feet on asking her out and take weeks and MONTHS to make a move. So whereas one guy might put in an initial week or two of investment to get to the point where she also starts reciprocating, another guy does it for months and months, which builds frustration, emotional overinvestment, resentment and the false narrative that men have to initiate everything and women just sit back and do nothing.

Let's take your two anecdotes:

For example, I picked a woman up from my med school and gave her a ride to the party. I notice the entire time that I had to make small talk and she wasn't very talkative at all. It is only after I flirted a little bit and made jokes that she was relax. Granted this is a girl that I talk to everyday.

You say you've been talking to her "everyday" but do you want to be her friend or go on a date with her? If the latter, ask her out ASAP or better yet start showing interest in her at the party by dancing with her etc. If the former, who cares and you should feel no burden at all. But you need to get to making moves rather than just talking to her "everyday" with no plan.

Another example is a girl that I talk to at a bar. She hugged me 7 times while we had a pretty deep convo. Well the next day in school. She was very quiet around me but super talkative to everyone else. It's only after I ask her, how she was during did she talk. But even than it was more formal.

OK, you talked to her at the bar. Did you end that great conversation by asking her out? Build on her hug with physical touch of your own including, assuming the vibe was right, a kiss? Inviting her to grab food after the bar?

This is what I mean about prolonging this initial stage.