As a guy who's been invisible to women pretty much my whole life, I have a hard time sympathizing with women that complain about unwanted sexual attention

Unwanted sexual attention will never determine my worth.

I think we're using different definitions of the term "value."

If upon seeing you someone feels the need to alter how they intended to act, this is a demonstration that you have value. For example, if a guy was walking into a store, sees you on his path and decides to stop and make a comment about your appearance, this shows that you have value to him. If you didn't, then he wouldn't have stopped and instead just carried on with what he was doing. But he deemed you worthy enough of his time and attention to change his behavior in that moment.

Yes, I understand this may not be the 'value' you want to have, but it is value nonetheless. You are desired, even if it's not the way you want to be desired or by the person you want to desire you. Having a stalker is a horrible thing and I wouldn't wish it on any woman, but surely it has to be flattering on some level that you're so desirable that you drove someone to the point of obsession.

I think the problem is that women are so used to being desired that they take it for granted, and don't understand what it's like to exist in a world where no one pays them any mind at all. It's hell. You mentioned earlier that older women wear makeup to hide their age, because older women are seen as "disposable." That may actually parallel what I'm talking about. Undesirable men are treated as disposable in a similar way, except it applies at any age so they don't even get the benefit lookinh back on the happy memories they made while they were in their prime.

a sex worker is just the person to help you

Sex work is illegal in most jurisdictions, so this isn't a practical option and again comes across as dismissive.

If you’re looking for an authentic relationship, stop assigning arbitrary value to people. Anyone worth spending your time with is going to pick up on that, and will leave as soon as they feel like their “value” is lessened.

I still think you're missing the point. There's nothing to pick up on because no one even gives you the time of day to learn about who you are.

/r/TrueOffMyChest Thread Parent