3. guys I [25 f] date leave me for my prettier younger sister [20 f]

guys I [25 f] date leave me for my prettier younger sister [20 f]

Is this a her issue or them issue?

I used to have a 'friend' who was very beautiful. I would often get upset with her though - she had a habit of meeting up with me later in the evening when I went out. More often than not, i would meet a guy, have a great few hours flirting and then she'd show up and I'd be totally ignored by both of them. It would upset me and I would leave. I thought I was just too ugly in comparison to her.

I started paying attention to what was going wrong, though, and I realised after a couple of months that it wasn't anything I did wrong - it was simply that she was inviting the attention, and they were olaying the field. She would actively flirt with these guys; he'd be sitting right next to me but she'd reach across the table to stroke his arm, and block me out of conversation. They'd respond in kind and I'd quickly be forgotten. I would inevitably get up and leave and no one would notice.

I eventually learned that A) she wasn't actually a 'friend' - she had deep insecurities that resulted in intentionally tearing down other women, 'friend' or otherwise, in order to maintain a level of control in her environment and B) those guys were never going to be the guys for me, because they were easily distracted by shiny things.

Then i started seeing a guy who met her and saw straight through her and her manipulations - and it blew me away. He changed my perspective on her, me, and my relationships with other women like her.

I guess what I'm saying is, it comes down to intent on her part. If she's actively inviting this attention, you need to sit her down and tell her what's what. If she's genuinely not inviting it, you still need to talk with her and let her know that dating your exes isn't on, and she should show some sisterly solidarity. But the fact that she went out with them makes me feel like your sister is a bit of a B - she doesn't care how her actions affect you, she just cares about herself. And you shouldn't feel wrong for being upset that your sister puts her dating life above your relationship.

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