I consider this group and others alike, to be a safe place for adoptees to speak their truth and find support rather than be challenged. As someone who has spent a good portion of life reinforcing positivity surrounding my own adoption for others comfort.. it’s not easy to only be understood by other adoptees who are rare to come by irl. It’s lonely and isolating to feel that these feelings are usually seen by outsiders as wrong or as being ungrateful.. these people can’t fathom the complex feelings I have surrounding adoption even when I’m glad I was adopted.

IMO adoptive parents get plenty of praise. If you talk to nearly anyone outside the adoption community: “your parents must be amazing people for adopting you”/“oh, you’re one of the lucky ones”. Post on r/all: “you’re doing gods work adopting this kid”. There are channels on youtube and social media with thousands of subscribers that mimic the same thing and have the APs on a pedestal like heroes and that’s the big picture, a huge chunk of the narrative and compared to groups and the voices that stray away from it all.. it’s massive and continues to go pretty much unchallenged as people find it uncomfortable to think something so “heroic and selfless” includes loss and that loss can sometimes be devestating and forgotten as it goes celebrated.

Anyway, I think if someone can’t handle a child wanting to know where they came from, bio parents, knowing their medical history and if you can’t handle a bit of raw reality then it’s just working as intended and weeding out the unsuitable.