I'm sorry your parents are emotionally abusive. Because that is what that is. My mom does the same. It isn't any sort of useful criticism, it's just kicking you when your down.

I know it's hard, but don't let the cruel things they say stay with you. Most people are not like that. Most people will not judge you so harshly for being upset or making mistakes. There will be a time when you can be open about these things.

I don't know what had you feeling so down, but very few people are screw ups. Making mistakes is how you learn, and nobody is perfect at anything. Making you feel bad for things makes it much harder to move on from them.

If you haven't checked it out already, it might help to take a look at r/raisedbynarcissists . They have a good support network of people who have similar issues with their families.