To the Guys Older Than 18-22, Let's Post Our Past Mistakes For The Younger Guys To Avoid.

Yea totally man. I guess my biggest beef with the 'PUA' philosophy (at least the older/original stuff) is that it frames picking up women/having casual sex as some elite activity that only super special guys ("Alphas") get to do.

You see a lot of this ideology bandied about in phrases like "5% of the guys do 95% of the fucking" and often dubious stats about paternity/cuckoldry, i.e. "20% of men are not the biological father of their kid" with the obvious implication/scare tactic being that these ex-navy seal 5% body fat alphas are skulking in alleys and your wife/gf/crush just can't fucking wait to get plowed by them ASAP and then spend all of your money. A lot of this is 'backed up' by bull-shit pseudo-scientific facts cherry picked from evolutionary biology and books like 'the red queen'. For a few small payments of $19.99, you too can learn the mystical secrets of these dreaded alphas and stop being an AFC who gets friend-zoned/cuckolded/used.

In my experience the reality is much more democratic (and many anthropological studies also bear this out): humans use sex to bond and connect with each other. Novelty (not status) is the biggest arousal-factor in mammals. Girls WANT to fuck, they just don't want to fuck someone who is really sick/unhealthy/might hurt them. If you are a healthy, happy, positive person with loving friends/family and put yourself out there (and don't take rejection personally) it is really not that complicated.

Yes, there is maybe a last 10% of 'game' (various advanced techniques/behaviors) if you:

  • really want to max out the amount of casual sex you are having (you can also accomplish this by slightly widening your standards)
  • really want to approach women in less conventional situations
  • have a VERY specific area you are trying to troubleshoot

The thing is, most guys who turn to seduction literature and gurus are often usually just lacking in one (or more) of the following: health/strength, social network/skills (including family), general life-building shit (career, passions, whatever). I know because this was me. Putting the last 10% FIRST is foolish and counter productive.

/r/seduction Thread