Your comment made me feel at ease a little. I feel a little less alone. Because I’m in the same position as you right now. It’s been almost 3 years and I cannot move on from the shame I feel. I’m seriously destroying myself by self sabotaging myself at this point because of the stupid damages I did out of temporary anger. I was really hurt. I was really angry and I wish he had understood but he was so tired of me and he didn’t wanna deal with me anymore. I know it’s not his responsibility to understand me but I wish he had. He really does not care about me anymore and it hurts so much that I not only lost him but also his perception of me. I’m not good in his eyes anymore and it brings so much embarrassment and shame in me. I haven’t been able to move on from it. It bothers me every single day. It’s been almost 3 years now and it still bothers me. He told me he doesn’t love me anymore and I felt like someone stabbed me with a dagger right in my chest. It’s too painful and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to move on. I don’t even understand why we broke up. I really don’t and I wish I could talk to him but he would speak to me so logically and Im there all being emotional ( it’s like he’s speaking in french and I’m speaking in chinese ). He doesn’t even want to understand me so he couldn’t care less about really answering the questions or saying the things I really want to hear. I feel so stuck and trapped. I feel like I’ll never move on from this big shame i have in me. Other than that, yeah I always wish him the best. I love him so much and the last thing I want for him is to be unhappy. I’m really proud of him for knowing his worth and leaving me thinking of his own happiness and well-being first even though he really did loved me a lot. I just wish I could do that too. And yeah I couldn’t keep being selfish anymore so I had to let him go too. I wish he was angry at me too you know. Rather than him being indifferent towards me, I really truly deeply and badly wish he would be angry at me because it would have at least showed he still cares. But he doesn’t. He’s indifferent towards me. And it hurts so much.