hey! I have HSV1, and I’ve had it for a little over a year, only one outbreak ever. It’s so not a big deal, but when I got it, I felt exactly like you do based on this. Totally ashamed/disgusted/thought my life was over. So let me tell you what’s real and what’s not real about this. First, 80% of people have it orally (HSV1) and like maybe a fifth of those actually know about it! It’s so common drs don’t even test for it in standard STD panels, so how on earth would you have known? As soon as you had symptoms you got checked, that’s completely standard for herpes, and you did nothing wrong at all. Your girlfriend’s reaction sounds a little bit extreme- but you should think about her reaction in terms of “she doesn’t actually know what this is, and is just reacting to the stigma around herpes, and not the fact that it is literally a totally minor inconvenience that affects almost everyone on the planet” rather than “oh my god I have betrayed her and am a disgusting human being.” I totally felt like the second one when I told my boyfriend at the time after I realized I had it- he was a “country boy” type (I’m from Texas) and didn’t understand what it was so he had a similar reaction. When I told the next guy I dated, he literally was like “oh, yeah everyone has that, and I probably have it too.” Herpes really is not a big deal, and how people react to it is really more about how well-educated they are than anything else. However, if you do want to talk to someone I totally encourage it. I talked it through with a lot of friends after I got diagnosed because I was really worried about the stigma, and it helped a lot! I also found out a ton of people I knew also had it. You’re definitely not alone. :)