“A man can do as he wills, but not will as he wills”.
This is where it seems we don't have free will.
You can make choices trying to get what you want, but you can't choose what you want.
In hindsight, my life would have been so much easier if I could have chosen not to want certain things, thus not acting a certain way to achieve those desires that I didn't ask for in the first place.
That fate you are talking about is what I call the life script. You can try to defy it, but life will smack you around to get you back on its path. This is like the myth of Sisyphus.
"Camus outlines the legend of Sisyphus who defied the gods and put Death in chains so that no human needed to die. After finally capturing Sisyphus, the gods decided that his punishment would last for all eternity. He would have to push a rock up a mountain; upon reaching the top, the rock would roll down again, leaving Sisyphus to start over. Camus sees Sisyphus as the absurd hero who lives life to the fullest, hates death, and is condemned to a meaningless task."