I need god because I used to feel like he was the only one that really loved me. That he would be there for me. But ever since Christmas Eve after I prayed to him that I would always follow him even up the highest mountains and down the deepest valleys. Then 10 minutes later when I was readying the Bible I get this memory of a time I was on the back porch and I was being convicted by the Spirit and I got aggravated and said how do I know if this is not the enemy trying to trick me or (I may have said) this is the enemy trying to trick me. I have been worrying that I have committed the unforgivable sin and that god is pushing me away now because of that. I just want to be forgiven that’s all I want. I want my relationship with god back.