Happily divorced people of reddit, when did you realize your marriage was over and it was time to file?

We had drifted so far apart that she was sure that I was cheating. I wasn't, but I just realized that the one of the last things her and I had was trust, and suddenly that was gone. That conversation, the divorce conversation, was, and still is, the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Lots of crying, on both our parts. Then the numbness. The uncertainty. It was all just terrifying.

My ex worked in family court for five years. She was a judicial assistant to a family law judge. She saw the worst of the worst when it came to custody battles and child support and alimony and all of that, daily. She saw how bitter and hateful it made people to one another, and how it affected the children. We have a daughter together and she was absolutely determined to NOT let any of that happen to our kid.

She didn't file for child support. We plead no contest on custody and decided to stay as close to 50/50 as our work schedules would allow. We support each other and help each other out, and communicate daily. We get along SO much better now than we ever did when we were married.

We split almost four years ago. She's since remarried to an awesome guy. I've found an awesome girlfriend. It all worked out well. We were lucky. Our daughter was a year and a half old when we divorced, so she really hasn't ever known life any other way. She's happy as can be.

My ex (I really hate referring to her in that way because of the negative connotations) can't have anymore children due to some major health issues. My gf and I aren't really planning on having any of our own. So my daughter has four dedicated parents. Plus, she's the only grandkid (step or otherwise) on her step dad's side, in addition to being the only kid on mine and her mom's side, so she gets spoiled rotten with adult attention.

The irony is that divorce may well have been the best thing that could have happened to our daughter. It's a very fortunate situation, I'm well aware. It all could have turned out so much differently. So much worse. But we put our kid first in all of the decision making and it made all the difference. I give all the credit to my daughter's mom.

/r/AskReddit Thread