I am so sorry you are going through this. It is awful, it is heartwrenching. I implore you to not make decisions out of fear. Fear of being alone, fear of being a single Dad, fear of never finding love again. I have to agree with a lot of others that it really feels like your wife is not acting like someone who cares that she has betrayed, devastated and broke the heart of someone she loves with all her heart. She didn't just cheat once, she was living a lie and lying to you for 4 years. If she is not willing to do anything and everything to try to repair the relationship I worry that she is playing lip service because she doesn't want to be alone. I just don't want you to let this go and give her a pass so that in 2 years or 5 years she leaves you for her next AP. I believe that the length & intensity of the affair along with the fact that she doesn't seem willing to even read a book because it may upset her speaks volumes and is a glaring red flag for the future. If this happened to one of your children would you want them to just let it go and stay with their spouse? Ask yourself what will keep her from cheating on you again? If she she cheats again will it hurt you more or less next time?