Hard time controlling tone of voice and talking “at” people.

I think it was mostly about how I come accross to people. Like I'm very paranoid and secrative and and have an air of "professionalism" as you put it. I was at job corps with a bunch of "delinquents" my own age. Someone told me it seemed like I was acting how I thought a teenager should act without actually being one. At one point when I was there, someone threatened me with a knife and had me snort some pills to "prove it" when I denied it. I don't know how that rumor started but it escalated. Maybe there was an undercover student there and people got wind of it and just assumed it was me. I never took any of it to the administration because I'm no snitch and I wanted to graduate. After I got out, I went to work but it didn't work out because people didn't trust me. I think people assume I'm hiding something or I'm up to no good, when I'm not. I'm actually a pretty honest person and I have never been in trouble with the law or anything. These days I'm unemployed and having a hell of a time finding a job and being part of the world. I have no friends and my family distrusts/dislikes me even though I don't think I've done anything to really deserve it. I haven't talked to anyone besides my dad in months. I've gotten really paranoid that someone might try and kill me if I go into the world and inadvertently make someone suspicious of me.

Idk how all this ties into stpd or autism. I think my social skills are just so bad that it's become a danger to my own well being.

Idk how all this fits in

/r/Schizotypal Thread Parent