I would try and just keep going at your job as best as you can. I really have no idea how to fix the thought patterns that we both have. Have you looked into any kind of therepy. I've heard cognitive therepy could help with stuff like this. Do you take any medication? I've never done any kind of psychological evaluations or anything. My brother was diagnosed with stpd after being involuntarily institutionalized, so that's what makes me think I have it to. We are pretty simimilar.

As for at work, I went into construction. My biggest problem, I think, was that I went into it trying to act as normally as I could. I was doing a pretty good job of it, but people eventually picked up that there was was something off about me. I'm also kind of an idiot and was new to the industry so I made alot of mistakes. People got frusterated with me and I was pressured into quitting. I'm actually glad I quit because the people I worked with were a pretty rough crowd. We also worked on alot of pretty high structures which got me scared (it wouldn't be too difficult to make a fall look like an accident). So since then I've been looking for work. I live in an extremely rural location so the nearest places that I could work are 60 miles away. I've applied all over 3 different towns. I did interviews at 2 different walmarts (the only places that called me back) but they never called me for a follow up. Actually, I thought for sure I got the last job (I kept my wierdness as hidden as I could) but they still gave it to someone else. I think my location, poor interview skills, and general strangeness are all factors in fucking my life all to shit. Lol sorry just need to vent. Such a strange life that I live. It sounds rediculous when I take a step back and look at it.