Sorry to be dramatic, I was 16 when I met my first partner in what was a very predatory group, and I'm now 32. I used to be a hopeless romantic in love with love and didn't recognize abuse/grooming because I had no prior experience.

I remember saying no to kissing/sex (during our second romantic encounter) because I didn't feel well (nauseous from alcohol) and they insisted and I just went with it because I was worried they would stop liking me if I firmly said no.

It culminated in not being told I was dumped until I went to visit a year later, after I explicitly asked if there was anything I should bring or know, get over there and got hit with "I'm sleeping with someone, all the beds are taken so you have to sleep on the dogs' bed."

I'm pretty ace at this point, but I'm an incorrigible romantic, so I would definitely love to love someone and open my hesrt to them. I also agree "The One" is an absurd concept. I have a platonic soulmate I adore, and that's enough for me currently.

Thanks for letting me vent my pain and responding very helpfully!!