"But when was the last time you heard a straight person say that they’re 'not defined by being straight?'” He asks.
Then immediately proves the non-necessity of even writing such a pushy article by answering, "I’m going to wager never, as being straight is not something that society has or will ever expect someone to apologize for or explain away. Straight people grow up with no negative stigmas attached to the heterosexual identity, and as such have no reason for language to compartmentalize it in the way that many LGBT people still do," policing gay folks into being wholly defined by their sexuality after all. No Miller, it's entirely because we're forced into that type of generalizing paradigm for ages, that we are forced to reject in it in favor of reminding people that we're far more than "that gay guy/gal who_____" in life. What's not to get...that's the reality of having to survive in many hetero normative circles. Just because we ideally shouldn't have ever been forced into this type of fight for the inclusion hets get de facto doesn't mean it's as simple as ignoring the need to fight those stigmas.
He's using a popcorn-string to weave a spurious thread between not being defined by your sexuality (because no one should be) with having to "downplay" or "apologize for or explain away" our identity. What a crafty assumption that "it’s most often those who want to distance themselves from others within the gay communities by appealing to an anti-gay attitude in culture." Prove to me how it "most often" works like that. It's forcing a false dilemma on real people with real lives. An over complication where one isn't needed. The author combats black and white thinking with more exclusionary black and white thinking. I don't have to hate myself to some degree for trying to lead an integrated life instead of being whatever walking stereotype is in flavor atm.

As far as I'm concerned, this is the type of thinking that likely comes from the fingertips of someone who has the luxury of ignoring the type of environments many of us have to survive in.