OP I say this will completely sincerity and curiousness… but I cannot actually see how you can forgive Kate and have this as separate to Maggie? Not at all an insult I assure you, I’m genuinely curious.

Of course yes you love Kate, but I (as well as so many people here) without the ‘love goggles’ perhaps can only see this being intertwined and not separate. Yes Maggie sounds like she is pretty awful, but people are only allowed to be that way when it is permitted by the people around them. Kate.

I had a gossipy friend who I would vent to, and the second she started to talk rudely about my partner in front of others (e.g, not just over wine with me) she was out of my life. Friends for 20+ years I might add. It is different to do it by yourselves… THAT is venting. But to do something so cruel, I really don’t believe Kate was obvious to that. I cannot see how she could be so oblivious if it really was how you described.

I have also dated a guy who allowed all of his mates to publicly shame and joke about me. At a soccer dinner where I hadn’t met many of them. Most uncomfortable night of my life. For me that was enough to say goodbye because I kept thinking about how he didn’t have my back, and how I couldn’t trust that moving forward if we got in difficult times.

I wish you all of the best in however you choose to move forward.