I think you have a slightly skewed idea of drinking and alcohol, which makes sense as you're not a drinker (I thought similarly when I didn't drink). Alcohol is a tool to increase socialization. The cast majority of people know their limits and hold to. There are always exceptions, but this doesn't sound like your crowd. Exceptions also vary with the type of alcohol served – wine and beer is less likely to have sloppy drunkiness than hard alcohol. But I think one thing you're missing is that drinking =/= drunk. I had a glass of wine last night. I did not get drunk.

Furthermore, I would say that it seems you're taking the idea of people sneaking in alcohol very personally when it isn't a personal attack on you. Asking people to party with a bunch of strangers and not drink is a really big ask – if anyone does go against your wishes, it's because this is a very awkward and uncomfortable position and alcohol helps alleviate that, not because they're trying to be selfish or trying to knock you.

I think a good compromise for you may be to offer small quantities of alcohol instead of "expected" quantities. Even planning for a single glass of wine per person would be a gesture showing consideration of your guests. For most people who do drink, though, especially those that drink "like fishes," they would need an entire bottle or more each to reach the level of drunken debauchery that you're worrying about.