Okay, I'm bad at organizing my thoughts so I will apologize in advance:

First things first- DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO NEUROTYPICAL PEOPLE! Don't give yourself the same goals, expectations, or rules. You are different and you are going to have a different life, and it will be whatever you want it to be and fuck everything society has told you.

Second thing you need to do is get disability status!! You are more than eligible for it and it has been a huge safety net for me in my life. I am 25 and haven't worked since I was 20ish because I just can't do it. Disability was hard but you're probably very smart and stay clean and off drugs and alcohol and you can actually have your own private little cave away from everyone to sort out your mind.

It took me like, 5 years on my own of crying and trying to kill myself and struggling and dying inside to finally crawl out of the hole but it was very possible and you don't really need to do anything except survive your early years and gain street smarts and try to live a little bit. You will just learn and grow appropriately with age, you don't have to do force anything or do anything.

Who knows what the future holds for us but it will happen whether we try or not- if trying seems to hard why not do something a little easier, and a little different? We aren't going to die, not unless we kill ourselves, so what is there to worry about? You don't have to impress anyone, and only you have to live inside your mind. If you wanted to, you could go live in the forest like my grandfather did. He's been a hermit for 30 years collecting disability and actually has a pretty admirable set-up.

Live yourself a weird and special life and please forget about all the societal corporate bullshit you've been fed. You're just not cut out for it and you know what? That is probably going to be the best thing that ever happened to you. Emancipate yourself from mental slavery my friend. I'm here with you, we've all been where you are now, it gets better.