I could’ve written this myself. Two years ago the exact same thing happened in my relationship. I listened to my gut feeling and it was right. He was hiding something. I will forever trust my gut now.

However, we stayed together. I thought it was over though. And so did he. I thought I’d never be able to trust him again. I was devestated. Everyday I asked him ”are you hiding something” ”are you lying to me right now”. Took two years to get past it.

What helped us get through it was complete transparence about everything. And him allowing me to ask him whatever I needed to ask. But I also had to stop bringing the situation up at some point. It wasn’t fair to him, bringing it up all the time. He felt terrible. But so did I. I felt like I was a full-time detective, solving puzzles, analyzing and looking for clues.

He SHOWED me how sorry he was. By listening to me while bringing it up countless of times. For years. Validating MY experience without defending himself. I was traumatized honestly. He broke my heart and he knew it.

Somehow we overcame it. I haven’t forgotten but I’d say I forgive him now. He’s been treating me well and my gut feeling has been calm. That way I know he’s not doing anything behind my back. He didn’t cheat on me by definition in case that’s what it sounds like. But it was something that hurt me as much as if he would’ve been.

As for advice… take the time you need to be angry. I was furious. Then I’d be okay for a while. Then I’d be angry again. It takes time to get over it. You’ll know if he’s worth it by gauging his reaction to your experiences because of what he did to you. I told myself though, one more time and I’m out. You should too. Hope it gets better.