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You really can’t do anything about BM. I mean, you are certainly allowed to voice your opinions and concerns, but I doubt the woman is going to cop to favoring one child over the other. So I wouldn’t bother saying it more than once.

I think you’re m on the right track already by allowing the boys one-on-one time, so good on you and your husband for that.

However...

Dad took him for a walk one night right before bed because he was super wound up and then last week he kept kicking his brother in the hopes that dad would take him on a walk to a park and then to another park to separate them.

This obviously isn’t great. You have to be careful about rewarding behavior you actually mean to discourage. At 4, he knows better than to kick, and his consequence wouldn’t be a “walk in the park” in my house. But I certainly can see why it’s tempting for you all to overcompensate with SS4 to make up for the harm BM is doing.

Anyway, I think you should just keep being consistent and don’t stress too much about it. Although it’s a bit sad, it’s very possible to be the non-favorite kid and grow up just fine.

/r/stepparents Thread