I blamed both. My husbands AP had got involved with him years ago when we took a break and they tried to keep it going when we got back together. She told me because she didn’t want to be in a “messy” situation. That was a lie. She craves drama because she is insecure, lives with her parents with no job or ambition towards starting a life, and had her “first” orgasm last year. She has nothing else going on. She doesn’t even enjoy sex. She’s admitted to him in not so many words, She just enjoys escaping her feelings.

She IS a home wrecker. She lied directly to my face that she didn’t want to be involved with him anymore back then and they broke up. I gave him a chance and we get back together. So when he reached back out to her while I was pregnant, it was a death sentence for our marriage. He was the sick fuck who couldn’t deal with his wife having complications while pregnant that took the attention off of him and she was the stupid disposable AP again.

She begged and she pleaded to be his mistress long term and to be in a real affair this time and my husband allegedly told her no and shut her down every time and told her that he never wanted to have sex in the first place (and I’m about 88% sure he didn’t) he just wanted the emotional aspect of the affair and occasionally to get his wood sucked. His emotional affair dragged on for a year before I caught him and he cut it off. I focused on both aspects because this gross insecure a/hole (my husband) knew how hard I had it while pregnant and was only worried about his needs that we’re being neglected. This loser of a woman happened to get pregnant at the time by someone else’s but it didn’t matter. Did she have any more sympathy for me, the pregnant wife, when she got pregnant? No? Of course not. She wanted to be swept off her feet and be the replacement. My husband didn’t want her and neither did her boyfriend, or her other “side” boyfriend whom impregnated her because he knew she was seeing other people and didn’t trust it was his child. So with no one to collect her, she got an abortion, my husband dumped her and she went back to cheating with her other affair partners. Sometimes the AP is just as much of a monster as the Spouse. Some of these women are soulless and turned on by discord and chaos.

I chose to reconcile, but under strict conditions, because as someone who has committed infidelity I could understand the situation for what it was. (More of a cry for help than an exit affair) My husband was actually the one who was dead set on reconciling. So, Why would I give up my mostly comfortable life for a bad blowjob he received under duress and a year of superficial conversations? I can always change my mind.