Looks like you're not going to leave him. Shame, I knew a girl just like you long time ago. Luckily, she was smart enough to leave the abusive fucker she was with after like two years. Hope you'll figure it out and not live the rest of your life with this guy. The only guy he is a step up of is the type that beats his woman, granted I bet you would make excuses for that too if he did.
If it makes any difference, you should empty your cup and reevaluate the situation from a different mindset. Think from a third person perspective, do not include the emotional information, think of you two as two different people with different names, faces, everything. There is a loyal girl and a guy trying to hook up with her friends. This guy claims he isn't, but it's truly obvious he would if they let him. This girl doesn't want to leave him. Should she? The answer is yes, yes she should.
You're afraid, you think you cannot have better. You think this is your last chance. Lets be realistic, you know there is someone better in the world for you, it's math. The problem is yourself. You don't think you can't find better, the problem is you think you cannot have better. You believe the pain this man will forever inflict on you sucks but is better than being alone without someone being there for you.
Well, I cannot convince you that you're wrong. I will say that if every single situation like yours ends up being bad, I doubt yours will be any different. Every woman I have met in their older ages, including my own mother, that stayed with their shitty spouses because of lousy self worth... The results are always the same. They get badly damaged from it and they don't realize the mistake they have made until it's too late. They already lived too many years unhappy with a spouse that doesn't deserve them. I hope you wake up because I know it isn't going to be anyone else in this thread that will, I don't think even someone that experienced the same situation and told you how they got out of it will convince you to do the same. I hope that, at the least, you re-read everything in this thread with a new, open, mindset and really ask yourself what you want in life and if you're getting it.
The secret about life is simple. Whatever you want in life, you're entitled. People might say otherwise, but it's because they're bitter they didn't try hard enough to get what they want. You get what you fight for, what you struggle for. It might be unfair to others what you want, but if you really want it, you'll get it. This is why there is rich people and poor people, powerful people and weak people. I would like to believe that if rich and powerful people are entitled to richness and glory, you're entitled to a boyfriend that at least values you as much as you value him. However, you have to fight for it even if it hurts leaving the garbage you grew to value... for some reason I myself as a third person will never understand.