Hmm, leave it to me to not properly write down the situation.

The breakup (from my side of things) was mostly financial. I had to move away to find a job. There were issues with the relationship, but they were heavily influenced by my own employment issues. He didn't want to break up, wanted to make it work long distance, etc.

For the past year we have both been working on ourselves. As much as I thought about him, we only had contact a handful of times, all of them brief. While he worked on bettering himself, so did I. I dated other people, got myself out of the house, had some much needed breakdowns while hiking (aka getting lost in the woods) resulting in some personal progress I won't dive into. Having a steady job that I enjoy and excel at is also helpful.

Most of this is to say, I do not rely on him for any aspect of my life's happiness. But it has consistently felt like something is missing. I didn't mean for it to come off as "I'm going to perish without him". But I do want him here, to share my life with me again.