The heart of an obese person (NSFW)

TL;SDR: Read these Ellen Pao (reddit CEO) court docs instead of this comment, they are funny and strange[1]

Read: Seven comment breakdown, cross referenced by year with lots of lulz[2]

Reddit's CEO Ellen Pao under SEC/FBI investigation for her part in her husband's ponzi scheme - READ THESE COURT DOCS[3]

ONE WEIRD AND FUNNY COURT DOC TRICK EXPOSED (READ!)[4] . Orig. comment moved below. The current (before she is in prison) reddit joke CEO is Ellen Pao, as of a few weeks ago when Yishan Wong, (who personally hired her and put her forward for the CEO position, and has totally not had sex with her either, honest, he's married, she wouldn't do that) stepped down instantly without warning... and she was instated within the week. Unheard of. Ellen Pao, a psychotic and entitled monster who is being investigated by the SEC and FBI along with her hubby for their role in a ponzi scheme ripping people off. Ellen Pao is fraudulently suing their previous employer to get some go-money as she is: Bankrupt Illiquid In massive debt Any other synonyms for fucked? But, guess what? Order now and we'll throw in a pre-trial injunction that forbids the discussion of Ellen Pao's financial situation. Right. Because the fact that she has negative net worth and zero liquidity despite her charity position at reddit has no bearing on a $16M hail mary. (those gilds on this comment are literally paying for her lawyers' coffees... I le sigh). While doing so she is taking every chance to shit on every woman who has truly suffered discrimination at their job. Ellen Pao is trying to characterize a relationship she had while at the company as "almost" rape, saying she "succumbed to advances"... and "while it wasn't rape, it was consensual... not rape... did I say rape enough yet?": She invited the guy out for dinner she said he was her hero and his mind was amazing she bought him chocolates she admitted she loved him wanted to marry him wanted to have kids with him FYI: She never said this was rape, in fact she has MANY MANY TIMES, said "it was not rape". You know. Like a suspicious number of times. Which is weird. She usually says it like "it was entirely consensual dot dot dot", or "it wasn't rape at all dot dot dot". Like, I don't know, there's something sinister and almost rapey about her having sex with someone if he didn't leave his wife for her afterwards. Or she just wants the words "not rape" and "wasn't non-consensual" on the jury's mind. But, wait for it. They had sex... and you know what that means in her mind. Entitlement. So it turns out HE DECIDED NOT TO LEAVE HIS WIFE FOR HER. Ellen Pao seduced (sorry, succumbed to the advances of, and clearly someone who cannot make their own sober decisions about which dick to suck, needs to be a CEO. I know many (many) women who are capable of saying no to sucking dick (someone hold me...)) and screwed a married guy at work, then got antsy when he didn't leave his wife. Wait... but that can't be true, I just said she didn't have sex with Yishan Wong, because he's married and... wait. Just to be clear moves mic closer Yishan Wong did not have sexual relations with Ellen Pao. Allegedly. I mean. The current Reddit CEO Ellen Pao totally did not have sex with the last Reddit CEO Yishan Wong, just making that clear in case anyone else reads between the lines and gets the wrong idea, ALSO Ellen Pao DID NOT RAPE Yishan Wong. I know I probably shouldn't even bring it up, but I just want to be clear on that.

She didn't rape him, but you see the effect first hand now. Seriously though guys, this rumor should not get out of hand. It's probably salubrious and prophylactic just to casually mention that Ellen Pao did not rape Yishan Wong to get the CEO position. I mean, let's nip this rumor in the bud, before it spreads. Let's get ahead of it. Edit: I've heard rumors that huffingtonpost is going to run the rape allegation story, that seems a bit unfair, we really shouldn't let this get out of hand. She also did not promise him a cut of her "winnings" of $16,000,000 if he stepped down his reddit position (poorly paid one at that) and vie for ten years salary payment from her instead, by making her a "CEO", although a joke title here at le reddits, it looks good for her case. oooooh snap! Maury-I am not the father dance So when he decided not to leave his wife for her after a brief fling, she is on record showing she spent FIVE YEARS deliberately trying to stir shit up, how much shit? Literally 200,000 pieces of paper. She's trying to win the old hail-mary sue my company by a sheer volume of attack, combined with five years of only keeping emails and parts of reply chains that gave a context to her being "shunned". She goads people and tries her damnedest to cause conflict to get it on record. AND FAILS! So she thinks that she has 200,000 throws of the dice to win this case. It doesn't work that way. She was paid MORE than her male colleagues Given the best mentorship, guidance and coaching from the most reknown and expensive coaches She had hundreds of complaints filed against her from WOMEN in the organization, that she MASSIVELY discriminated against filing poor reviews and criticisms and complaints against almost all women she worked with. She has emails showing her taking advice from lawyers back in 2008, then one friend of hers saying "delete all emails except those you can use to try and sway your case". So she did that. For five years. Her complains amount to: I was made to sit at the back and take notes. Despite only doing that on ONE occasion and actually spending the first days in the front row, people not letting me in to their deals... after people complaining she was always trying to get into deals after the research and diligence was done, instead of coming up with her own ideas. That's it, literally it. She was offered her dream job, the job she wrote she wanted, when she was found to have failed EVERY SINGLE employee assessment for five years running, and missing EVERY TARGET. She refused, knowing it would hurt her CASE she had been building if she accepted. She starts suing them while working there, being extremely abrasive, basically like Westboro Baptist abrasive, while trying to goad someone to make a move that would help her case. Nobody did. As SOON as she complained they hired an investigator for her, literally within a minute, to help her. She refused to speak to the investigator they hired to HELP HER, while she was preparing her case, and finally did ONLY WITH HER OWN LAWYER PRESENT lol. So she wanted to paint a picture of her being oppressed. What a sad fuck. Pissing in the face of every hard working person and shitting on the progress so many amazingly talented women have made. That's right Ellen Pao, shit into the mouths of all those professional women who would never stoop to such dirty fraud to get ahead.


Ellen Pao wants someone to gild her $16,000,000 because she fucked a married guy, they talked about him leaving his wife and marrying her and having kids, he didn't... somehow that entitles her to $16,000,000, and it's totally not a hail-mary because she's going to prison. When the SEC / FBI get through untangling the ponzi scheme in the Caymans. Directed by m'night shyamalamalan TL;DR /u/ekjp[5] (Ellen Pao) /r/BetterCallSaul[6]

You Don't Need A Criminal Lawyer, You Need A "Criminal" Lawyer.

/r/pics Thread Parent Link -