Everything you wrote is exactly what happened to me in a past relationship. I would feel panicked that we kept fighting about nothing, because I didn't want to admit that our relationship was failing. I would try to leave the situation to calm down, but he would chase after me to the point of forcing doors open. I couldn't flee, so I fought. And that made me revert back to the way I was when I was a teenager, when I couldn't leave my parents so I fought/got moody instead.

I wasn't mentally ill, and I haven't had this happen with anyone else since then. It's not normal for someone to chase you when you run, and that's part of what makes you feel like you're in danger. When people are in danger, they flee or they fight, and he's forcing you to continue to fight. It was actually surprising to me after leaving my relationship when people wouldn't force me to stay in a situation. When people actually seemed to care about my opinion. When people respected my boundaries. When people didn't want to argue over every small thing.

If you want to make your marriage work, then I really suggest marriage counseling. You might want to get therapy for yourself as well, but it's not going to make your husband stop chasing you when you try to leave. I don't know if this is what's happening to you, but I would feel cornered because he wouldn't let me leave - so I would lose control and act awful so that he would be the one to leave instead. It was a defense mechanism, not mental illness. There isn't anything wrong with you other than the fact that you don't know how to deal with someone you love treating you this way for the rest of your life.

The only way I could fix things was to get out of the relationship, and it was only afterward that I realized a lot of the things that were happening were not normal, at all, and that I was so desperate to make things work that I tried to ignore it. When I was in that relationship, I felt very alone, and things only got worse over time, so please feel free to message me if you want to talk more. I really hope things get better for you.