[Help] BF [28M] does not want me[27F] to use certain toys because he is afraid that I will enjoy them more than I enjoy him.

His fear may be irrational when it comes to you specifically, but I've seen women get addicted to or begin to prefer masturbation over their partner. In my experience it happens the more unrelated and disconnected the sensation is to sex like with a showerhead for example. There is no worse feeling than being sexually rejected immediately after just hearing your girl's solo moans of ecstasy.  

I'm fine with masturbation that's actually solo as in I'm not sexually available, mutual masturbation, and toys where I'm involved. But, if I'm actually sexually available and she knows it as I'm in the very next room and have specifically told her I'm down and then she chooses a toy or masturbation over me. My ego can't handle it. It hurts. It's not just that I feel inadequate but that I feel like she doesn't care about me and my pleasure. It just hurts all around and I've had it happen to me.  

Not only does it hurt emotionally but for me it caused a confidence feedback loop. Before I knew my girl turned me down directly after masturbation I had no confidence problems, no issues with masturbation or toys at all and I encouraged her, and still do, to use her vibrator. The sex was amazing and I could tell she was satisfied. After she rejected me though I just noticed our sex getting worse. I can't get it out of the back of my mind that she doesn't actually enjoy the sex were having. Then it's like she doesn't want to do anything or change positions and just wants to get it over with. Then she masturbates more and hurts my confidence more. It's a cycle.  

My plan to break out of it is to just step my dominance up. But, it's hard when she won't work with me and put some effort in. When I first met her it was easy to just face fuck her and do whatever I wanted to her because I didn't give a fuck. Now, I love her though and I'm finding it harder to play that same role in bed because I actually care about her. Also, for whatever reason she has gotten lazier in bed which makes it even harder for me to get hyped up and passionate to do my thing.  

I don't know what happened but I'm going to try my hardest to fix it.

/r/sex Thread