Yeah in regards to the first point, we're just asking the courts to say that anyone that we dictate can pick up the child (i.e. in-laws, me, my SO's brother etc.) on the days that are my SO's. We don't need it to specifically say "Johnny Smith" or "Jane Doe". Our problem is that she has tried to say who can and cannot pick up/watch the child on our time so we're trying to make it so that she doesn't have the grounds to tell us who SS can be with. I guess in layman's terms she is asking for a ROFR (she's asking to make it so that no one but her can watch the child until my SO is able to pick SS up from her home). In comparison to either grandparent's home, BM's home is farther away (and downtown, which during rush hour when we get home adds another 30 mins to the commute).
  Breaking it down if my in-laws pick up the child, and drop him off at our house when I'm home, or my SO picks him up when he's back in town, my SO is able to spend from 5:45pm until SS goes to bed with him. If my SO is forced to travel from work to the BM's house, he doesn't get home until 6:15/6:30 since she lives downtown and rush hour greatly affects it. She also doesn't feed him dinner or bathe him and my SO ends up having to do that right after bringing him home and by the time all is said and done, it's bed time for SS and they don't get to spend any quality time together.

  I do agree that he should just try to get that neither party will speak negatively about the other in the order instead of specifically saying that she cannot swear around him.