he said I should have made him go into the pub to get the jumper out

You shouldn't have MADE him do anything. He's shifting his inconsiderate decision onto you. Dick move.

I got upset as it was not the country side, and he didn't ask me about going to that town but rather just stated it as fact.

He changed your mutual plans without asking you. Dick move.

Do I STFU during these instances and follow his lead, or calmly discuss with him? I usually STFU and let him lead,

You act like he's being a captain. He's not. Captains listen to their first officer, even if they don't follow their advice, and they don't change plans mid-stream for no reason.

You aren't being passive aggressive. You're withholding valid anger at a man who is acting selfishly and inconsiderately. You need to reconsider your relationship with him and how he treats you, because I'm sensing a pattern of disrespect towards you that isn't warranted.

these times made me quite emotional that I need to work on, and I am scared that it will weaken our relationship

Your emotions will only weaken the relationship in the sense that you have justifiable emotional outrage at unjust treatment, and enough of that will make you (hopefully) walk away. Don't suppress these emotions - they aren't unfair, unreasonable, or "just you being an emotional female". I'm pissed on your behalf because his behavior, whether he's a man or a woman, is not acceptable.

You need to call him on it and address it. You have a respect problem. I get the feeling that you are trying to recast it as YOUR problem, but the problem isn't on your end, it's on his. Did he even admit he was wrong about the jacket? Did he apologize for making you cold and miserable when you didn't have to be, but for his stubbornness? Or did he just deflect his responsibility onto you with that "I should have made him go into the pub to get the jumper out" bullshit?

Hint: he should have apologized. If you were the one to force the issue, make him give you the jumper, that would be YOU acting the leader/alpha, not him. Unsexy.

Okay, stopping typing now. You need to hold him accountable, and not accept blame for what he does. This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. I'd have done a LOT more than just fume and argue in your shoes. I'd have let him have it, both barrels. The examples you gave are bullshit.