Help me please

Hi there,

I ask this questions myself 2 years ago and what I learned is that only you can make yourself happy. What you're thinking makes everything. We are in different situations every day and how you rate them influences a lot how you feel.

E.g.: A friend is pissed because you just don't want to go out.

Now you could think "ugh I feel bad, maybe I should go so they're not mad"

Or you could think about it in another way. You said no to going out and they have to accept it. When they are angry it's because they rate the situation negative and it's their problem and not yours. This sounds harsh but with this you can move on and think about other things.

It's also the other way around, don't be angry when someone don't want to hang out. They have their reasons and how you feel about the situation comes alone from how you rate it.

E.g. negative: why did he said no? I like to hang out with him but maybe he thinks I'm boring? Is he meeting friends and they didn't invited me? It's already the third time he let me down..

Positive: ok it's a pity but I guess he has his reasons. Well maybe I could ask another friend or I will enjoy the evening with gaming.

So train your brain to focus on the facts and positive things and not on the bad things, because thinking about the good things in every situation makes us happy. But it's a hard to train your brain to focus on facts and positive things so don't give up so easily. Unfortunately I can't recommend the book which helped me a lot because there is only a german version.

Hope it helped a bit. Good luck :) btw sry for my English.

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