Help! My wife [32/F] embarrassed me [29/M] in front of all of my friends on NYE and doesn't see what she did wrong.

When I met my husband I thought he was amazing, interesting, fun, etc. as I got to end more time with him I noticed he was kind of bossy. It's not what you say but how you say that can make suggestions sound like orders. Anyways, after meeting his family I definitely knew where this bossy behavior came from. My husband's dad is a very opinionated man, very well read, math intelligent, cultured and a perfectionist. My mother in law, on the other hand, is a very sweet woman, great common sense and family oriented. She's definitely not book smart, and in my opinion the way she grew up made her the kind of person that can become someone else's doormat at times, very sheltered and prude. She's the nicest person I've ever met but she's got a weak personality, almost incapable to stand up for herself.

The way my in-laws get along is good and really bad at times. My father in law constantly put my mother in law down, it doesn't matter if there are people watching, he doesn't care. The use of the word "stupid" to describe her ideas is very common, she is just quiet and when she talks to try to defend herself is just pathetic. They have been together for a long time, and they're definitely not getting divorced, she learned to live with him like that. She doesn't like it but she gave up and accepted her faith.

My husband had a tendency to 'correct' people on their facts by making them feel stupid if you know what I mean, he started being bossy and trying to micromanage whatever he thought I was doing wrong. I stopped him there. Thank God he had some part of his mom's common sense, I told him how I felt and he changed. He realized the way his father treat his mom is unacceptable, rude and humiliating.

I'm the luckiest woman on earth, my husband is such a sweetheart. Once in a while, the past behavior sticks out its nose but by reminding him what he did wrong or how he made me feel, he immediately apologizes and that's all.

Where I'm going with my story is that maybe you should stand up for yourself. I believe my mother in law has some sort of low self steem, or maybe after being treated this way for years she just believes it now. That's not the way a relationship should be I don't think. Your wife's behavior not only sounds disrespectful but also childish. Definitely rude, and very unreasonable.

Maybe counseling would work. The thing is if she doesn't accept that she's the one that needs help, or she's the one that is wrong, then the point of counseling could be just a waste of time. There's nothing worse than trying to help someone who thinks doesn't need help.

I never jump into a conclusion where I say: "divorce her". I think people should try to work on their problems, but it requires work and dedication from both sides, you and your wife.

I believe it's never too late to find someone else. Everybody should have the right to pursue happiness. Being tied to this woman for the rest of your life could be torture for you, and it's only up to you to take it, accept it and learn how to live like this, just like my mother in law. I think just saying "yes" to everything she says to you just to avoid a fight is very pathetic. No offense.

Or you can just try to find someone else who can love you for who you are and try to start a life together based respect, trust and love. My husband and I have arguments like any other couple, but he listens to me and I listen to him, and if we disagree, we just find always a common ground and commit. It's very easy when you are with the right person.

Think about your life, and what you want. You have the power to decide how you want to live and who you want to live with. You don't want to hit your mid 40 's a realized maybe you could have done better or you could have been happier. Living your life with a regret like that, or realizing you wasted your time after 10 more years would suck.

Fix it if it can be fixed. If not, the look somewhere else.

Good luck!

/r/relationship_advice Thread