Ok, clearly what she did was emotional cheating and she needs to earn back trust but i dont think it's irredeemable. The 7 year point is often a tough time period for couples, think 7 year itch. It sounds like you both were unhappy/unfulfilled during the time she did this. Awesome pro level work with your list idea btw!

It sounds like she was bored and loving the attention. It sucks she didnt have better boundaries and she didnt talk to you about her predicament. But it sounds like it was still in the realm of fantasy foe her... it didnt sound like there was even plans to meet? So i can see how someone might be able to detach and convince themselves what they are doing isnt that bad like.

Her behaviour needs work but I dont think it was maliciouse. I hope she genuinely feels remorse and really wants to work on herself and the relationship. I think you have a right to be on guard for awhile. I am glad she is in therapy.

I want to give a different perspective on the boob pictures. Ok so when I turned 35, I was feeling pretty crap about myself due to a recent MS diagnosis and just aging in general. I really cant remember how it came up but when my partner and I were drinking we came up with the idea of sharing some topless photos of me on reddit. I blocked my face out and was wearing undies. I found it super exciting and it gave me a huge ego boost. My partner also thought it was fun. I dont think i need therapy because I wanted to do that tho. I think it's human nature to want to feel reassured and appreciated when we are feeling down about life or ourselves. I think maybe that's how your wife may of felt and it just snowballed. What she needs to work on is communicating with you and finding ways to get her needs met with u; not behind your back. You need trust in a relationship and she broke that trust. But i think if you are both willing to put the work in then this could make u two a more solid couple. Trust your instincts on this.