This comment was posted to reddit on Aug 10, 2022 at 9:09 pm and was deleted within 10 hour(s) and 32 minutes.
Help with some “untraditional” ideas
The term "shower" is explicitly linked to gifts, so if you don't want any gifts, I'd just plan an engagement party. You don't need a shower, I'm not having one. I'd just throw tradition to the wind and plan whatever kind of fun party you and your FH want and can afford! We had a casual party on our apartment building's rooftop with Chik-Fil-A catering and champagne. Other people have more formal affairs. It's literally whatever you want.
I do think it would be a little weird for you to have your mom and bridal party help you get ready, but not let them see you get married. I also am confused about the "eating privately" thing -- does that mean you wouldn't provide a meal for your guests? You can definitely eat at your wedding, so don't let that deter you from a traditional reception. Personally, we're eloping and then having a post-elopement party afterwards (and wearing our wedding attire for the party). You could do something like that if it's important to you to exchange vows privately.