It's not just bronze age thinking, it's also the way that people today think in many non-western cultures. Are they all stuck in the bronze age, or is our western gay culture just a little peculiar in this respect? I don't think we should be too quick to judge that our way of doing things is progress. Especially not when many gay guys are clearly telling us that they don't fit into the masc4masc paradigm and prefer this "bronze age" way of thinking.

I also don't believe in this idea that there shouldn't be any norms based on gender or sexual position. For example, I think it should be the norm for straight men and gay tops to ask their partner if they want them to wear a condom, and if you don't do that, then it's legitimate for people to shun you. Yes norms can be excessively oppressive, and we shouldn't excommunicate people who want to bend them. But it's natural and healthy for any group to have norms. Norms give people expectations of how others will act, and a rough guideline on how they themselves should act. They're like a map that makes navigating social life easier. They're useful, and that's why we have them.