Hey baby are you a Communist?

I o r i g i n a l l y t o l d t h i s j o k e i n 1 9 9 6 . I p o s t e d i t i n t h e a l t . c o n s p i r a c y B B S o n U s e n e t a s a q u e s t i o n t h e n t a b b e d o v e r t o m I R C t o p a s t e t h e m i l i t a r i s t i c a t h e i s t r e p l i e s a s c o m m e n t s i n t o c h r i s t i a n c h a t r o o m s f u l l o f F B I a n d p e d o s u s i n g t h e h a n d l e d a r k n i n j a 6 9 . A b o u t a n h o u r l a t e r a g i f o f f l y i n g t o a s t e r s h a d n ' t f i n i s h e d r a s t e r i z n g w h e n a p h o n e c a l l d i s c o n n e c t e d m y c o n n e c t i o n t o e v e r q u e s t , w h e r e I w a s b u s y t r a i n i n g g i a n t s t o n o o b z o n e s a s a n a k e d b a r d s i n g i n g s p e e d b u f f s . T h e p h o n e c a l l w a s t h e h i g h s c h o o l I h a d n ' t s h o w n u p t o s i n c e I d e l e t e d a l l t h e s y s t e m 3 2 s with a batch file named win.bat for msdos 5.1 informing my single parent that I had been skipping school. She beat me with everything in the house to explain that my education was very important. Years later I would see my pioneering joke format honored in the timeless reposts of the 26th largest hivemind on the internet. I'd hang up my robe and wizard hat and I'd smile, knowing my life meant something to history, then I'd fade away into obscure dubstep sampling on YouTube.

/r/Jokes Thread Parent