Hey Jesus!

Here are some other options:

•Look around frantically and say “Where?! Where is he?!” loudly. Tell them earnestly that he owes you money for flipping your goddamn table.

• Close your eyes, splay your hands, and hum angelically until they go away.

• Slip your shoes off, wink, and slide a foot towards them as if you expect someone to wash it with their tears and hair. Act disappointed and move along when they don’t.

• Ask if they’ve seen any missing barrels of rice.

• Tell them you’ve lost a giant stone and urgently need their help looking for it so you can Rest In Peace. Actively begin searching behind small objects.

• Ask if they have any water. If they offer you any, Spill it, and proceed to practice your magical walk-on-water abilities with confident enthusiasm.

• Tell then that you converted to Pastafarism and your Jewish parents disowned you so you need a colander to crash in.

That’s all I’ve got at the moment. I get that you might’ve been hoping for more serious responses, but I’m hoping the one true Jesus of our time has a good sense of humor.

/r/CasualConversation Thread