Thank you. I really appreciate you. I’m a newcomer-ish. Started late April but have had a few relapses. Including the most recent which was after last Sunday’s meeting and I ran into this guy. He shook me up enough that I immediately left the meeting and went straight to a liquor store.

I was blackout drunk by the time I made it home and proceeded to crash into my house. Yes, my house. I’m at a live or die point. Literally.

I felt suicidal earlier in the week to the point I started writing out a list of things I needed to take care of before I killed myself. That control thing is quite tricky. In this case it saved my life. After I wrote out my list, I realized most everything it contained were things that once taken care of, would make my life, and those around me, better. I realized if I put the work in, there was a solution. I gave it all up to a higher power.

So here I am, a week later, sober, and this guy starts blowing up my inbox with incoherent messages. He gives me his number and tells me he needs to tell me something and it needs to be over the phone.

I told him that I didn’t think it was a good idea and wished him luck. He then starts getting nasty saying he was in a bad place and needed to talk to someone. I responded with, I wasn’t strong enough in my sobriety to be of service to anyone and that I was sorry I couldn’t help and wished him luck. He responds back telling me he’s going to be sure everyone we mutually know knows that I’m in AA and the things I’ve talked about.

They’re embarrassing things but I specifically didn’t share what was really going on because he was in the meeting. I mean, if he tells people he tells people.

It’s just a huge invasion of stability, and I am ashamed that I’m in those meetings. I don’t really want everyone in our very small town to know my business and that I’m in AA. It gives me anxiety. I’m from a very small southern baptist town...

I’m so sorry for rambling.