This speaks volumes for me. A year ago before I discovered this TRP domreddit I was 21 and an AF with a 9+ SMV. Im from the South Pacific and tan with those nice golden dreads that went down my back. Think that alpha fuck bitches fuck when theyre on vacation somewhere tropical. Girls used to approach me in public and ask for pictures and basically put the pussy on the pedestal. I looked like an NFL player (build + dreads)
I was very happy and pulling bitches when I finally let Bluepill conditioning get to me. Although I got the bitches and lifted 5x a week and was swole, I secretly thought something was wrong with me since I didnt have a nice job, I wasnt finding a chick to settle down with and having kids, I didnt have a good job. My close friends have begun graduating college, knocking up 7/10 hoes and getting decent jobs (dont get fooled - these jobs werent paying much more than minimum but they had the status of working in a suit). Friends used to ask when I was going to stop fucking bitches like were still in high school and when I was going to settle down (wtf?). At the time I took them seriously and dont blame them for persuading me towards the BP path because they too are brainwashed by society.
Looking back on it I was redpilled (but didnt know of the term then) but thought that bluepilled society was the way I was supposed to be. That was when it started eating me alive mentally and I dropped all my AF instincts to mold myself into a BetaBux (I didnt know of this term then but it was what society wanted me to be: young, married, career, kids). I started telling bitches what I was looking for (relationship) and that I was done fucking around. After reading TRP, this is like the #1 rule to NOT do.. I was trying to be transparent with these hoes since I was trying to be a new bluepilled man.
I cut my dread locks that I loved and completely changed my successful redpilled mentality into a bluepilled betabux. I let the pressure of society (family) telling me to cut my hair to be more professional so I can get a good job, yada ya. I stopped going to the gym as much since I tore my ACL and got shoulder surgery from tearing my rotator cuffs at work. My confidence took a plunge because of my sudden turn into something so unnatural for me - being a "normal" drone who blended into bluepilled society. I was basically having one of those crisises a 25 year old has when they realize theyre getting old (but its not true). I morphed into an NFL bodytype AF with long hair into a depressed skinny fat bluepilled drone.
My SMV dropped because my confidence and game kinda plummeted. Whatever, fuck it. Im here now in the TRP world and I know I have so much time to bounce back and become that AF I was and still have a career.
Thanks to TRP, Im currently in monk mode and becoming the old me, but better. I now am working towards a career that will allow me to travel in my 20s/30s with decent pay, that will allow me to rock my dreads, and dont plan on getting married in my young 20's.
I bring this up because I ruined my high SMV becoming something I wasnt - a blue pilled drone. Dont fall for the matrix guys.