Where to start? It's so twisted....
Firstly I should note that this is the first time I have ever posted about this.
I was 16 and in love... I had no idea he was a Jehovah. We met in class and we even had sex... (Omg!!!) But then his guilty conscious got the better or him and he told me. I didn't care or understand what it meant. We were in love (12 years on and you can see we actually were madly in love with one another). But it was forbidden so we would sneak out three times a week and almost every weekend so we could see one another. 10pm until 4am was our time. Then his brother found out and told on us. My husband got disciplined and then it was either I convert and we have this weird no sex relationship or we run or this is the end. We couldn't run. He was too scared and too young. I needed something in my life anyway, my childhood is pretty fucked up so I was the perfect candidate. I took to it like a bird in flight. I was your fucking perfect JW but I hated myself.
We both got baptised at 17 and as much as I felt confused, I convinced myself I was just nervous about such a big dedication and did it anyway.
We got married at 18 and it was never the same. We were changed. I was changed. I had depression but back then to have that in his family was shameful. I kept trying to be the best jw I could be.... But I hated myself and I resented him.
We had our first baby at 22... It was around then my husband started reading more outside of the org. He was becoming an 'apostate'. The elders contacted me and told me he sounds like he is an apostate and this wasn't good for me and my baby alluding that I had an option. WTF. The man I changed my whole belief system for was leaving the org. WTF.
We fought hard. I was well and truly converted but there was always something inside of me that knew this was bullshit.
One night we had a breakthrough and made the decision to run away with our 10 month old. We took to reddit. Nobody really understood... They said it sounded like we needed a holiday... Because we didn't mention that part that we were JW.
That week we secretly got passports, met with a real estate agent and two weeks later sold our house.
We found out we were pregnant just before we decided to travel overseas. We did the trip anyway. It was amazing and emotional (not mention the morning sickness and vomiting at Rome airport).
We came back and moved interstate away from everyone. Five months later we were heading back to our home town for a job... 3 days after arriving we had our second baby who was very sick. It was then I made my stand to my husbands surprise and told the dr my son would receive whatever he needed. I left the org 3 months later.
We were slagged by his siblings and sister in-law to all our so called friends. We had ppl trying to welcome themselves over and find out our stand. We talked about the weather instead.
We knew we had maybe a month before we would be disfellowshipped so we did what we do best and uprooted once more. It was a huge risk. My husband quit his salary job to keep our family together. His boss couldn't lose him so he offered him a full time work from home position... We accepted.
We moved back to our favourite place in Oz. We found a little house and we started over. It was hard. We were a little fucked up. We held a lot of resentment to what the org had done to our once upon a time 'normal' relationship. But he is patient and funny and I am real and sensitive however will stop at nothing to make something right again.
We went on to have one more baby. Another boy. We never did get disfellowshipped, his family came around and still talk to us - just never about religion (which I happily bring up and am not afraid to share with them how fucked up it is). I believe they tell themselves that we will come back.... But they don't understand it is so much deeper.
The other side of this story is my best friend came in with me. She was like my sister. We lived together. We did everything together. She was molested by someone who was a jw. She didn't know how to tell me. I had just gotten married and we started to drift apart. She was sexually abused and then conditioned. I can see now she was the perfect target.
I should have seen it but I was too preoccupied with my own new life. I should have helped her but I just didn't know. She was so innocent and shy and didn't deserve the life that followed.
She was cut off by everyone... She was disfellowshipped when she should have been helped. If there was a god he should have been there but that's just it. There is no god and if he does exist then he a one fucked up piece of shit.
Today we are 27, 3 kids, home owners, work from home along with two business. Take that JW's who predicted we would divorce and be drug addicts? lol